It’s been two weeks since I didn’t qualify for The 2012 CrossFit Games.
Hmmm…. Well that’s one way to look at it. I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t cross my mind on a, pretty much, daily basis.
The CrossFit Games are a huge part of any competitive CrossFitters year, but it’s not the only important part. As friends and teammates of mine are gearing up for The Games, I’m reflecting on a year of change, progress, frustration, achievement and failure.
Over the past couple weeks I’ve busied myself with coaching and filled my calendar with team competitions, throwdowns in other states and goals for my the next year of training. But mostly, I’ve found myself circling back to the same thought: I’m not competing at the Games.
Regionals are a blur at this point. Not something I’m interested in re-living in the near future. Overall I consider it a failure. From my perspective as a competitor, winning is success, everything else is failure.
The coach inside of me would argue that things aren’t so cut and dry; that I should celebrate small successes amidst not qualifying for The Games. But the truth for me remains: I did not reach my goal; I did not succeed.
This is something I can live with. I have competed in many sports for as long as I can remember. I know what losing feels like. I know failure. I know defeat. But I also know how to win. I know how to come back. I know how to keep pushing and keep fighting until I’m on top. I know what I have and I know what I can become. I’m not afraid of losing and I know how to return stronger and more determined.
Watching The Games this year will not be bittersweet. I will cheer on my friends and enjoy the energy and spirit of the Games. And I will know that next year, I’m going to be out there next to them.